My Pain, My Gain

My Six-Week Journey Keeping My Mouth Shut.

Daniel Hornbuckle playing basketball // photo courtesy of Western Washington University

Written by Daniel Hornbuckle

I’ll never forget April 17, 2022. The Royal Brougham Pavilion was packed with rowdy fans who were glad to be back in the gym rooting for their home team, the Seattle Pacific University Falcons.

My team, Western Washington University’s men’s basketball, was on a run; up five points with only 6 minutes and 51 seconds left in the game. I had just gotten a steal and was looking to widen our margin. I was pushing the ball toward the other end of the court when I was met, full speed, with a shoulder to my face by one of SPU’s players.

Dazed and bleeding from my mouth, believing I had only lost a tooth, I walked off the court feeling a little foggy-headed. I was led into the lobby where the team trainer, Thomas Silberberger, examined me.

“I’m fine,” I told him. “Just give me a second.”

Back on the floor, I spent the next few minutes spitting blood into a trash can near the end of our bench. I nodded at Tony Dominguez, Western’s men’s basketball coach, giving him a thumbs up and mouthing “I’m good.” Although I could still taste blood in my mouth, I was anxious to keep playing.

We won, but I had no idea the severity of the injury I sustained. I prayed it was just a bruised jaw or a loose tooth at most.

I spent the rest of the night spitting blood into a hotel cup. It was hard to rest comfortably knowing we had another game to play before heading back to Bellingham. I refused to admit my injury was worse than I thought.

I woke up the next morning feeling optimistic, believing a good night’s rest would result in a miracle healing. My teammate and I walked down to the hotel lobby for breakfast. I ordered my usual favorite meal: french toast with strawberries and scrambled eggs.

I couldn’t open my mouth to eat it! Irritated and hungry, I walked to the closest store in search of Aleve to dull the ache.

During warmups for the next game, every step I took rattled my jaw. Throughout the first two quarters of the game, my pain only got worse. My body was working overtime trying to exert enough energy to play while managing the trauma it had been through only 24 hours earlier. I was running on empty by the last quarter. I was in so much pain, so I finally chose to take myself out of the game.

A few days later, during a visit to the dentist, my worst fear was confirmed.

“Your jaw appears to be broken. We’re referring you to a maxillofacial doctor,” my dentist said.

I then went to Dr. Ashoka Subedar, a well-known oral surgeon in Bellingham. After he looked at my X-rays and examined me, I knew immediately, by the look on his face, what his next words were going to be.

When he told me “Your jaw is fractured in two places and you have a cracked tooth,” my heart sank.

X-ray of metal wires inserted to set my jaw

My first thoughts were “Is he for real? We have regionals starting in a few days!”

Unfortunately, Dr. Subedar was as strong-willed as I am. He wouldn’t relent to me getting back on the court even with a face guard, although I argued that I’d seen plenty of NBA and college players wear them.

He presented me with two options: invasive surgery that would require cutting through my neck on both sides and behind my ears to insert metal plates into my jaw, or wiring my jaw shut for six weeks.

“I’m sorry. You’re out for the rest of the season.”

Those are the most devastating words an athlete can hear. When I got hurt, my first thought was “Why me?”

Like with any injury, I was praying hard that it wouldn’t be career-ending.

I know that sports injuries are a part of being an athlete. Minor injuries are expected, especially considering the amount of stress athletes put their bodies through. I’ve been injured several times from sprained ankles to jammed fingers to a hyperextended elbow. However, this injury was worse than any of those. This fractured jaw caused me to be sidelined, and I wasn’t sure if it was season or career-ending. This is a reality for lots of athletes. One injury can change everything.

Based on an article posted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in 2016, there were over 1 million estimated injuries reported to the NCAA Injury Surveillance Program.

The overall basketball injury rate reported between 2014 and 2019 was 7.28 per 1,000 athletes. Injuries to the ankle (22%), knee (13%), head/face (11%), and hand/wrist (10%) made up the majority of reported injuries. In addition, 90% of players say they have been injured while playing and 54% continue playing after being injured.

Third-year student Darius Gary transferred to Western from Portland Community College in the fall of 2019 to join the men’s basketball team.

Although the COVID-19 pandemic forced a canceled season, players could still practice and workout. During practice warmups, Darius twisted his knee and aggravated a previous ACL injury he sustained at PCC. He would have to get another knee surgery, his second in two years. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to play this season.

“When I reinjured my knee during warmups, I was devastated,” Darius said. “I felt like everything I ever worked for was gone forever.”

Darius thought this knee injury might be the end of his athletic career. He had to return home to New Jersey for surgery along with nine months of daily rehabilitation. Fortunately, it wasn’t a career-ending injury, which a lot of college and professional athletes experience, but he said this experience drained him emotionally.

“Mentally, it made me second guess myself as an athlete, and I was depressed for a while,” Darius said.

Similar to Darius, I was despondent with having to sit out the rest of the season. I felt robbed. After almost two years of not being able to play due to COVID-19 restrictions, I was finally able to get back to what I love… Only to have my season cut short because of a freak accident.

The first week with my mouth wired shut was complete misery. Barely able to talk or eat, my diet was reduced from Thai food and burgers to sucking broth and juice through a straw. Learning how to puree food in a blender was humbling.

Within a week, I had lost 10 pounds. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, leave my apartment or go to class. I just wanted to be left alone.

My breakfast, lunch and dinner

Injuries for athletes are not just physical. Being injured can affect you emotionally and bring out feelings of anger, depression and low self-esteem. In an article published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, Dr. Margo Putukian wrote that sports injuries are a major stressor for athletes.

Injury can impact an athlete’s rehabilitation and return as well as their academics. Putukian also pointed out that injuries can trigger mental health issues including depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse and anxiety.

College and professional athletes who get injured face a potential life-changing crisis. They not only have to deal with a lengthy recovery process, but possibly a loss of scholarships and potential income they would have earned as a professional athlete. Some even have to settle for a new career path.

They’re hurt. Their team is hurt. The realization that you may never be able to play again can take a toll on you and create a rollercoaster of emotions. Athletes who experience injury may feel like they’ve failed, their careers are over and there are no other options left for them.

As more athletes experience injuries, professional sports organizations are responding by proposing changes that will lessen the wear and tear on their player’s bodies. Recently, several NBA coaches and players commented that the league should consider reducing the number of season games to allow athletes more time to recover from the physical and mental stress of back-to-back games and decrease the potential for injury. If the NBA decides to reduce the number of games, it could possibly change the culture of all professional sports.

Recovery from sports injuries is influenced by the athlete’s physical and mental condition, the athlete’s doctor, family, teammates and coaches. A lot of athletes experience months of recovery on their own without the emotional support of friends and family. Without a support network, their recovery time may be longer or they may lose motivation.

I was able to get through my injury phase with the support of my coaches, my best friend Glenn and my teammate DeAngelo Minnis who called and texted with me several times a week.

My family also flew in from Alaska for my surgery and part of my recovery. Of course, they were sympathetic, but no one really knows what you’re going through unless they’ve experienced it.

“I realized that feeling bad for myself only hurt my chances of recovery or ever playing again,” Darius said. “I had to make the best of a bad situation and use it to motivate myself, knowing that my skill as an athlete is truly a privilege not everyone is given.”

What I learned through my six-week ordeal was that injury is not failure on the part of the athlete. There are thousands of athletes who’ve been injured and couldn’t return to play that turned out to be an inspiration or a mentor to other athletes. You just have to remember that your injury may open doors for you that lead to greater success and an even bigger story.