One Step at a Time
Running has become my comfort in chaos.
Story by Alexia Suarez | Photos by Christa Yaranon
Every day, when I’m somewhere between asleep and awake, I slip on my running shoes and hit the pavement, pushing myself until my legs and lungs can’t carry me any further. I run until I’m either drenched in sweat or the Bellingham rain so the route back home is more rewarding.
My goal when I work out: tire myself out so I’m okay with sitting at home for the rest of the day.
I run around my neighborhood, the health app on my phone counting my steps so the next day I can try to beat it. If I’m feeling particularly fit–or extra bored–I do some resistance band work, ab work or yoga. Running reps on the stairs outside the Viking Union kicks my ass every time, but I’ve mastered the route to the Meridian Haggen Food & Pharmacy, making it there and back home without taking any breaks to catch my breath.
Before quarantine, I’d go out to celebrate on the weekends. I’d charm loose acquaintances into buying me drinks, work with brides to help them find their dream wedding gowns or sip a latte at a coffee shop with friends. I’d spend my days out of the house because that’s where I found happiness, surrounded by people and life.
My goal when I work out: tire myself out so I’m okay with sitting at home for the rest of the day.
Then, COVID-19 pulled the rug from under me, with nothing tangible for me to hold onto for stability. I’ve been furloughed from my two jobs. My college graduation has been canceled and my East Coast internship has been postponed until next year. Just over a month ago, I was running around, meeting new people and living a life I loved. So, when the world shut down, I didn’t know how and when I’d get that same quality of life back.
And then, something unexpected happened. I never thought I’d say this, but running has given me some of that happiness back. It began as a time-filler, but now, running has become the foundation and structure to my days.
I take my anger and frustration out on the pavement, batting away all my anxieties and anger with each bound I take. In one step, I mourn the loss of my future in New York City. In the next, the loss of normalcy and the routine I had taken for granted. The next, the anger I have for states wanting to open early and risk an inevitable second wave of disaster. With every step, I release all the anxieties I have when I first wake up and remember that millions of people are unemployed, we all have to stay inside and connecting with the people I love through screens is my new normal.
As we all find our new normal, I am coming to appreciate my daily runs as part of my morning routine.
Exercise can help adults reduce their short-term feelings of anxiety. Regular exercise can improve thinking, learning and judgment skills as we begin aging. Also, regular exercise can reduce one’s risk of depression and anxiety, and help improve sleep.
Western senior Bailey Duran said this is why exercise is an important part of her daily routine. Fellow busy bee and early riser, Bailey walks two-miles every day, practices yoga for 15 minutes twice a day and dances in her living room to relieve built-up energy.
“It’s such a strange time and I don’t think we all need to be super structuring our lives right now,” Bailey said.
While the world is still asleep, Bailey slips on her shoes and starts her day by walking. She has scheduled her walks in for 7:30–8 a.m. daily, and from there, writes down everything she needs to get done in time increments, scheduling breaks in between assignments and work. While her well-planned schedule helps her pace her day and stay on top of everything, Bailey said she also allows herself breaks from structure to heal and experience the world around her when needed.
“It’s such a strange time and I don’t think we all need to be super structuring our lives right now,” Bailey said. “I think we need to focus on just being okay right now. But having a little bit of structure, especially now that spring quarter has started, [for me it] has really helped anchor myself into things and not feel like I’m wasting away.”
For type A personalities like me and Bailey, feeling like we’re wasting time makes the days feel like months, and one month of quarantine feels like an eternity. However, it is also valid to allow myself time to grieve for the life I once lived just outside my front door.
I grieve the loss of normalcy. I grieve the life I once lived that will be inherently changed after this pandemic comes and goes. I grieve those who are dying alone in their beds, only to be buried in mass burial sites or kept in freezers until we better understand the virus.
Running has become the only outlet where my brain isn’t constantly thinking about the virus, it’s simply reminding me to breathe.